That's it. end of the holiday..

Ya.. end of the 3 months holiday.. 10 years ago when i first came to singapore, everything seemed to be uncertainty and doubts for me. Now everything seems to be a certainty. i'm not really complaining in the sense that i do feel i'm fortunate to have many opportunities to perform and strong support from family..... If things go as expected, I will end up in the wafer fab company and swamped by many ah pek and uncles... I'm really worried i will get so bored that I will become a freak in Chartered ...

The post above was edited after I made a few decisions by tossing a coin. Thanks Wei aun for the 1 pound coin. After tossing the coin but din get the result I desired, I decided to go against it. Looks like I already know what I want to do and what I should do. It's just whether I wan an excuse to do it. Now i realise regardless of which side of the coin show up, I will still choose what I want to do. I think I have found my new direction of life......

Exam results..

It has been so long since i blog.. this shows how happy i am about the exam...(haha does not make sense.. whatever la..). I actually got 1A+, 2A- and 2 B+.. that's my best ever result la.. though there is a hope for me to get 2nd upper... i think i will just leave everything to fate la... besides, i really wan to use this one last year to practice piano, learn hip hop and manage my lindy hop club too...

Recently i realise life is happier if you don't have any expectation on something... mroe often than not, i will start doing things with certain expectation.. if things don't end up the way i wan, i will get frustrated... that's really bad isn't it.. the same thing applies to volunteering too.. please la friends....don't do volunteering with any expectation to learn things because you are supposed to be there mainly to help the beneficiary to enjoy.... whatever life long skill you pick up should be secondary in the priority..

I just realise girls like cocky and funny guys... somehow this sounds better than saying girls like jerks... freak man... i'm getting more emo day after day... when will my princess come to save me? Hope i won't have to resort to SDU......

oh yeh, backtrack a bit, i joined the Ycamp challenge in June as a befriender.. i did get much more fun and interaction with other volunteers and beneficaries.. however i feel more left out somehow. i guess it must be generation gap... i think this will be the last Ycamp i take part liao... really feel like moving on to do something i would enjoy more...

Exam and work at chartered

Finally, exam ended.. I have put in quite a bit of effort and i really feel good abt the exam.. hope will do well!!! though it may be impossible to get 2nd upper now... but still.. should do myself proud and get good results..

Work at chartered is really quite boring... don't have my peers around me.. My colleagues generally have no time for chitchatting.. well, afterall it's a working place so i should not be complaining. I'm attached to a super nice supervisor who happened to live in the same block as me!!! just a few floors below my home! what a coincidence man!.. haha. He gave me hands on project to do which is really hugely beneficial to me but not so to my mentor who has to spend time explaining to a person like me who have no prior experience at all.. Thank you Yana! haha. I'm still thinking about the master thing .... dunno if i should take it... nvm la.. still have a few months to consider... I have been a loner this sem. hope it will be slightly more fun for me next sem...

work and love in old sph office,

it has been really really long since my last entry here. Well, the temp job in old office has not been as enjoyable/fun as i would expect. it's really nothing like the last time when i worked there for 3 months. The old friends were all so busy and we hardly had chance to go out for lunch together. Everything changed. I had a few misunderstandings and i made a few friends pissed too. I hope time will tell whether i'm a deserving friend....

It's a blessing i met my first love in the office too. It's kind of a puppy love for an old guy like me, it's my first love. The first time i have the courage to chase a girl, rather hastily though. After knowing her for a few days, i had the special feeling and i decided to chase her. though it ended pretty fast too, i did enjoy the brief process a lot. The break up part is really really painful for me but then i guess it's a stage everyone has to go through. Nevertheless, it did make my dry, not that fulfilling life much more interesting and colorful. I have no regrets over what i have done. Though given a 2nd chance(there's no such thing as 2nd chance in life), i would have taken a slower approach. argh..... but then again.. maybe i would end up losing my only chance to chase that girl. Sigh...

This is the 3rd last sem le. i am sure i will continue to be a person who will not live with regrets!

Grab chances!

What kind of people are chances for?

1- Very lucky people

2- People with rich and lucky parents

3- People with great endowment from god

4- People who start seeking and preparing themselves early


Chances are not limited to just sch work or carreer.. it's about everything man... If you have the slightes idea about what you want to have in life, do start seeking early. Even if the outcome does not match what I intended for, I still can tell myself I have done everything possible for myself.

I think I don't belong to the first 3 categories... so i guess i have to work my socks off. A few friends of mine have helped me to read palm and face, they all said the same thing. I am a superstitious person but I am someone who like to go against fate. I'm sure my destiny still very much lies in my own hand.

Most important things in my life

My answer to that question has been changing and changing.... like what i always say, my principles are firm, yet i always feel there is a need to reflect on it, change it whenever necessary. No one can say he know he is right, especially when it comes to perspective in life.
anyway, here is my answer for now and it has not changed for these 5 yrs already... i'm pretty sure this will remain more or less the same for the coming 20yrs. let's see what happen when i reach that age...

1- family (parents, siblings)- they are people who care about you since you are born until your spend yr last day on earth.

2- your own family (wife and children)- they are the people you will care about until your or their last day on earth...

3- career- i guess stability is important especially for a man whom many people may depend on.

4- happiness, satisfaction and self actualisation in life..- it's important to achieve this all the time. If i am not happy, how can i cheer up other people?

5- friends- no matter how close friends are, they are just friends... in time of crisis, no one is responsible for any other..any help will be purely voluntary,,,. it will be nice to find really good buddy friends, but such relationship has not obligation and responsibility involved... i am luncky to have friends who always help me in sch...

Fantastic and fulfilling temp job experience at SPHSearch!

Again i have been so busy with work for these 3 months that i dun have time(or rather no mood) to update this blog. This time, however, i was happily busy over work. Basically, i am getting so much satisfaction fro work that i have decided from day 1 that i will work until the last friday before school starts. when that last day of work came(last friday), i felt quite upset but i tried not to show it. afterall, i should be happy about getting nice friends who can go movies and dinners with. so what is there to be sad about? i typed a long long departure speech/ thank you letter to everyone in my office. They said it's touching... haha.. maybe due to the fact that i have personal message for each of my colleagues there. hope i will get to go back there to work this december.

school has finally started. i think i will take sometime to get used to the male dominant engin environment and the boring engin guys. hopefully the marketing and arts gem will provide me with some fun classmates.

oh yeh, i went to sentosa yesterday. despite the thick layer of sunscreen i put on, i still ganna sunburnt badly. luckily skin does not peel. never have so much fun playing beach volleyball already... oh i have blister on my right foot too... shit... and i spoilt my sandal in that trip to sentosa.. time to get new pair..!

coming to an end of this entry, i would like to set myself a target this sem- to be even more outspoken in sch and class. i should have been behaving the way i did in SPH Search and gain more friends. This is the last 2 yrs of my school most probably and i really wan to get the most out of it. my next post would probably be after the exam. i hope by then i would be thanking for all the great friends i have made in sch, but not lamenting abt the boring dry engin place.

reaction of the shit result

The second day after getting my shit result.. think i can calm down now. come to think of it, i'm just back to square one..but this time i more or less know where my weakness is already. That's the whole point of university study isn't it? at least it is what i'm looking for in uni life. now that i know where my weakness and strong areas are, i can tell myself i'm ready to embark on the second half of the university life. I may not have gotten very good result to secure my first job, but i'm sure sometime down the road i will perform to my potential level. ok.. should not waste too much time talking about the result liao...

got to submit my semicon scheme application form liao.. i have nothing to lose basically... will be submitting the application still.. hope i will get it.

i don't know why i like to make resolution for any occaision at anytime.. and now my resolution is to quit eating chocolates and potatoes chips. this addiction has the better of me for more than 20 yrs... think it's time to say good bye for now, knowing what it will do to my tummy and acne situation.. plsu one more resolution that shall not be revealed here... let's see how long my resolution can last this time..!

shit results

results are out. really horrible results comparing to what i have beening expecting to get. Before I can conveniently push the blame to competitive peers, i think i got to realize something is wrong here. I'm weak in calculations in the sense that i make careless mistakes easily and I'm not too confident about what I have understood in class(due to lack of sleep i guess). What i can do now is to make sure i get enough sleep next sem, and practice more(more than others who do 5-6 sets of paper for each module). half of my university journey is gone and I have realised where my weakness are. There shall be no more reasons for failure(as of now.. haha). This comes as a great setback realli especially when i was expecting good results, but I shall declare here to everyone and myself that this will not deter me from working even harder in the remaining 2 yrs of my fulfilling university life.

enign grad vs biz grad

I have heard many stories of how much the biz grad are earning in banks. I have a friend who went to do a private business degree(1 yr of bridge course and 3 yrs of uni course) without going through poly or JC. After getting his degree, he became a fund manager in a bank and earning more than 3k a month. His sister who did a NUS business degree is also a fund manager now and she's earning 10k a month. This kind of saddens me as to why am i studying so hard, so lifelessly in the freaking competitive engin sch with the freaking hardworking china man and scholars. Money is not all that matters in life but it does matter quite a lot. And this phenomenon demoralises me as it shows what i have been working so hard for is actually not that worthwhile in today's world. Now i understand why people said it's harder to get into Biz course nowadays.

i went to island creamery today!

Auntie Lim treated me to island creamery today. I enjoyed the ice cream a lot, but more so the sight of such a beauty i never see for half a year. Arts canteen was closed, so i have been restrained to engin area, my home and YMCA for this half a year. This is the first time since dunno how long i have that kind of special feeling when i see a girl. hai.. only if she is my friend...

i just realised my prediction of a 0.15 increase of cap was exactly what i achieved over the last sem. So i will hope for a 0.13 increase of cap this time round. let's see if my hope will come true.

next week i will be starting work. hope i will get to meet nice people and the job won't be too boring. the hr girl said i will be sitting in front of the computer for 90 percent of the time. let's hope it's a nice job. and pls pls pls, don't make me work in a all male environment again...... i'm scared i will become gay soon or later...shit... what am i talking...

NUS year 2 is over!

My last post was written right after my exam for sem1. No post at all in between. Somemore I no longer give tuition. this shows how busy i have been for the past 4 months. stupid mini1,2,3,4... tests, catching up with lectures, lindi hop. I don't know if this is considered fulfilling or mere being busy. staying back to do work in library literally on every day basis, I don't know my life should be considered lifeless or what. ok, enough grumbling.....

I have put in more than ever(like what i will always say after each exam) time and effort into the preparation for this exam. Really hope it bear the fruit i truely deserve. FNA, 2007, 2011 should be fine. Hope my cap will get some lifting again this time.

3 months holiday has started, and i feel so lost.... not knowing what to do(actually i have to apply for part time job..), my friends are either doing special sem or VIP.. maybe i should take some time to reflect abt this sem and think of what i really want to achieve in NUS.

argh... should i specialize in semicon? should i focus more on study or still keep up with my cca commitment?.......

Yr 2 Sem1 exam is over!

It's suposed to be short. 5 modules, 1 SUed. all within 1 week and 1 day. somehow it felt so long long long.. I did less of a last min work this time round. hope it will work.. Pls pls pls let my cap go up by at least 0.15....

Sch is still as boring as usual... Though i joined lindi hop lvl 1 course, and badminton(super interupted by stupid labs...) I don't feel like i have made many friends. i guess it's just the nature of uni students that they are constantly busy with their own stuff, outside stuff, part time work and thier the other half. Come on.. all i wan is friends... friends who will go out during weekend, friends who will go to sing with me, go sentosa with me, match movie, chill out... why is it so difficult?..maybe i should just fill up my timetable with CCA stuff and all, then friends will come.. haiya.. dun care lah... leaving singapore in 3 days time... spending christmas in HK.. yeah!

I am starting to feel the pressure of being an adult

haha.. my tuition kids are not performing.. and my tuition is stopped... i have been having a slight feeling of this happening but when it realli happen, i'm still shocked and saddened by it. well, i guess(i hope so too) that's the final round of setbacks in my yr of bad luck(this fan tai sui thing is realli making me superstitious, if anyone tell me he can see ghosts or can connect with spirits, i will readily believe it).. never feel like this before in my life.. I'm starting to realli envy my relatively worry-free friends..shit man... that's a sign of wanting to run away from reality... 2 days after i start praying and this happened.. let's see what's god has in store for me..

Argh!.. Should I be complaining or not?

Life is so interesting.. Things that seem so impt to you may be dirt to other people.. basically things that people dun have will be gems and things that they already have will be shit...

I have been suffering from lack of concentration lately.. it's not realli deal to loss of sleep...hopefully i can solve the prob soon... exam is around the corner... damn... and life has not been smooth for me.. I think i'm realli getting superstitious liao..It must be the fact that i 犯太歲 this yr.. I dunno why every small thing that i would love to have or do.. just won't come no matter how hard i try... last sem i complaint of not having enough friends to go out with. I deserve it cos i never join any anything.. but then now after going for 3 trips 4 camps during the 3 mths holiday plus the fact that i constantly keeping myself friendly and not shy, i am still with myself.... engin friends are there to sit with during lecture or to tackle tutorial together.. but most engineers just dun like to go out together.. if they do, they will just go out with people from outside engin... My brain tells me this does not make sense but I feel this is the case for the majority of enign.. why is engin such a sad place? or engineers are just too busy.. by the way... am i realli that slack? i give abt 6-8 hrs of tuition every week, went for badminton on friday and lindi hop on tuesday... i'm actually super busy.. just that I think i'm in need of someone who share same background as me and would be willing to talk to me.. i have been thinking i'm a quiet, introverted person.. recently then i realised that i was plain lazy to talk... i'm infact a talkative person.. i like to talk, cherish the moments i chit chat with friends...

I was told by many friends that there are many NUS people who like to sing.. so far i only meet one. got to thank her for that.. but i would love to meet more such people lor.. can't be pestering her all the time to go sing with me right?.. and i realli need a pal la... I wan to receive sms from friends abt any stuff outside sch, i wan to be invited for a movie or a dinner with friends..... All these simple things that my friends have, i dun have.. let's see when will this miracle happen.... the chinese feng shui master said on tv that the people with animal dog will be super lonely this yr... and it's freaking true so far.. i hope this yr will pass asap lor... pls pls pls.. the day when this miracle happen, i will come to blog again.. if not.. then i shall see.. haha

I'm freaking bored, stressed, tired, and lonely.....